Monday, February 2, 2009

I'm an idiot

Last week was a tough week, but not because of training. It feels like I've been bitching an awful lot about my job and the threat of losing it, but trust me, my wife hears more about it than anyone should ever have to endure. The real kicker is that we moved to AZ this summer in part so that I could take this job - a great next step in my higher education career and my chance to build a department in an area I'm passionate about. Who knew that months later the whole economy would come crashing down and the state of Arizona would loose its mind and decide to decimate higher education with cuts that could displace 20,000 current students. Crazy.

I wish I could just let it go, but it hangs over everything I'm doing these days and it's even having a big impact on my training and season. Can I afford to race there? Can I buy this new part? New shoes? Until judgment comes down in the next couple weeks I've put a "freeze" on registering, parts, and shoes. It sucks.

The tough times mean that last week's first swim workout should have been a welcome escape, but I came away feeling worse about everything. I thought I had forgotten how to swim, had developed asthma overnight , or was somehow regressing physically despite solid training over the past year. What was the REAL reason....?

I'm an idiot. There is a reason people hire coaches. There is a reason having a coach is s good idea. It's because when you read your swim workout that dictates rest between sets as the interval for the set you are probably going to feel like crap. Just guessing. That's right, last week's first swim workout of the year that had me flipping out on why it was so hard should have been a walk in the park. The main part of the workout (15 x 50 40") was supposed to mean I had 40 sec rest after each 50, which is way too easy so of course I thought it meant 50s on 40 sec, which for my first workout of the season was totally inappropriate.

Saturday AM I did this same workout, except swam my 50s on 30", and felt like an idiot, but at least had a good laugh and assurance that I didn't in fact have asthma or had forgotten how to swim.

Thanks for reading.


Anj said...

So sorry the job stress is hanging over everything. The Tennessean released a story today (a UT study) that says the bottom should hit here in 6 months, but education is one of the sectors projected to grow. Whether or not they mean higher ed is in the report I'm sure....but at least you might have the option of coming back!

The story is at:

Zippy said...

The economy will come around; it always does. Swimming Master's relieves me from having to create my own swim workouts: one less thing to worry about.